All is as per will.
What must i will that ensures me happiness joy at every moment of life including this moment that i do not long for another moment.
That is, I fully satisfied now with no desire.
Here are choices and I mst chose one and will one.
At no moment I have to win for my joy but all moments i have to enjoy. My joy cannot be delayed into future. My joy cannot be a joyful moments of my past or desirous of a reputation of the same now or future. That is i cannot wait to be me in the past or me in the future.
Future is always in future. I must enjoy now. My joy must be permanent and independent of my surrounding including now and all my imaginations.
I must will to enjoy all my imaginations including my permanent incapacity to enjoy.
I must kill me to oblivion now and this cannot wait.
I do not expect and I enjoy this moment totally and entirely without any residue or savings for future.
I will my silence and enjoy now as this now is. Without further contemplations....
It is impossible to get mixed up with my world. I may live in delusion and keep feeling ecstatic or reach nadir. I cannot be any of my world or the world as it is. No matter i write in any language sone is mine unreadable by any and I cannot stop . My gap with my world is unbridgeable. None of my illusion can into truth and cross the stream of separation. I know no better word for the river of death. No entity belonging tomy world has no option but remain my illusion.
I may expect anything. Nothing can ever be predicted. It is impossible. None is founded on truth. All forever remain my assumption. The only bread and butter food for their life.
I can never be live. I cannot be born. I cannot be dead. I can will my collisions.
It is always joke. I may will to be intelligent. It is my idiotic indulgence. I may preserve all my thoughts for future but they shall never make it to land of truth.
I am destined to be alone without any change in me and surroundings. The river of death that surrounds me forever and ever.
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