Astrology

A few hundred years ago astronomers were funded by kings for their predictions. Today of course universities fund them and reward them with prizes and honors. Names help to illustrate what I am about to say but my memory is failing and I appreciate my disability.

Testing a drug for its effectiveness by statistical technique or machine learning do not really right technique for cure. A careful trained observer is required to see effects and improvements on on daily doses.

Questions answered using imagination mathematics statistical testing and probabilistic models and optimization on prediction and evaluation of correctness does not reveal any truth.

However this not what I am interested in discussing.

My need for words and my utility for people's attention about not there.

I got completely baffled to protect my honor about my unpredictability of body limitation. I have decided to remain at home and not travel. Because of my physical limitation and intellectual ability to keep my honor I am not travelling with my family. I cannot tolerate their imposition on me.

What is the solution? certainly it is no longer words - mine or anybody's - no astrologer's.

In order to be 100% harmonious with my world I have to abandon both future prediction and past experience.

Avoiding honor or public discussions on me - I cannot avoid - I know or aware of it or not.

Me the balloon is certain to disappear. Astrologers may be able to predict when all visible signs of my being or presence disappear and replaced with rotten smell of flesh.

If I simulate my death in time reversed and try to see failures or my incompetence - without choice. What would come first.as sign of my death. I am already very perturbed about my stomach upset and my inability to keep my honor in public.

It is not preventable. Although I may altogether stop going out in public. I may be totally disabled and cannot move out of bed on my own. It has happened to Dr. Moitra, it has happened to Chhorda.

I aimed at complete harmony with my world - I cannot have exceptions. Knowing that there is no God besides myself I cannot avoid dishonor. I must be completely prepared to be harmonious no matter what. I must be harmonious with my worries of future dishonor and my disabilities.

When I started write this, I was about to show my intellectual ability to draw a complete tree starting with root node - I no longer exist.

How to be in harmony with my disabilities?

Internet

I started with computer at my home in 1982. I was not married yet. It was perhaps called Tandy 80. It had a very simple command Interface called CP/M. about 16 K memory. 8 lines display of 80 characters and it was quite a thrill. No card punching no waiting run output no operator. You learn to optimize. The language is Basic.

Couple of days back I searched for BASIC in Internet I found one that runs in all available desk top OS, Linux, iOS, Windows, and MSDOS etc. Also it can create executable incorporating C functions plus it can draw in my screen as in same old days, play music etc.

Why do I have to travel back in time. I have over two hundred books acquired in last one year on current technology. None of them is worth reading. The authors are so called founder of new technology selling time for Cloud - it is their sales efforts.

I have talked about Google, Microsoft, Amazon, Apple in this business of fooling people. In my recent encounter with most Global Consulting Organizations. The current state of the art technology do not deliver no matter how solidly they are backed by US based stock market.

Couple days back I refused to listen to Raghu who quite foolishly think China cannot develop technology. However in US we including Apple, Google, Microsoft, depend on China for survival besides US government support.

It is unbelievable but true the technology promoted by US tech savvy corporations are great building efforts of white ants that has already destroyed US technical edge forever.

NO US CORPORATION TODAY CAN DELIVER TECHNOLOGY.

 We have now resorted to banning technology from China, Japan Korea and elsewhere. A simple example is my ZTE Phone. US is about to ban all ZTE phone in public places, since ZTE is selling them to Iran. The phone cost me $340 two years back. There is no defect observed till now. Never fails to diver. One charge lasts me for at least a day. Unlike Samsung or iPhone my family members use and they have to change every year. Battery problem or just gets locked. It takes hours to come into life, cannot even reset!

I am wasting lot of time and money to study current technology if they have any good in them. So far the founders produced so many books on their technology but failed to complete any project to anybody's satisfaction.

It was in late 70 and early 80 there was lot of research on data organization that facilitates reporting. Before that we had to run through several files simultaneously, several sorting etc and at the end report is sought. This reports can be utility bills or pay checks.

Today's technology is pushing us back to the same days in 60-70s. They have invented new names for such technology calling it Machine Learning in the process eliminating any correctness that we were accustomed to 50 years back.  

Intuition

Is it not reference to something that exist as logical comfort of being taken care of always without effort.

Cecilia

Last 3 years Cecilia has dominated my life. The day she jumps for me. My heart is filled with joy. The times she comes to me smiling with her all splendor beauty i touch her cheeks with fondness of my fingers and bring them to my lips.

My only expression.

She came to my life about 3 years back. She had piercing cry and non stop. She would stay with often she will be lying on my breast to be quiet and sleep. Dhe refuse to put down. Then learned to crawl and walk. She would accompany me outdoor and sometime far away walk. She would climb on me when returning exhausted. She maintained a rational of her correctness. She could not blamed for any mishaps. It is unintended and she could not take the blame. On last Friday, dhe was blamed gor already broken gate. She couldn't accept it. She quietened only when I said I would replace the same. She cannot be threatened with consequences. Dje does not accept them. All has to be in her terms.

Who is she being that face and being?

I wear my body naturally without shame or honor

AS IS

I wear my body naturally without shame or honor

my body does not exist as it is

but it is sensing only mechanism of my illusions - dreams

I was excited last night talking with raghu

it is so hard talking to anyone

I am talking of intelligence prior to intelligence that has gone missing among all the people I meet

my preference of children who is still in the process of talking birth

morning i went to bed and got up late at noon

I was sinking in the dream place I visited earlier in my life in twenties

it is striking mountain landscape the sun and light wetly drizzles

i am exploring landscape and very ancient culture and tradition

belief in god in everything intellect and numbers and truth

without obligation to prove its time in-variance infallibility

axiom of being unaxiomatic

dna before dna

life before life

world before world

time before time  

In the presence or absence of my illusions can I be any in particular? Do I pretend to myself of y my ability to remember and play act - even for a moment?

Weeds

Usually my cherry tree in front of my house blooms white in the month of April. It stays so 15 days and then it bears fruits when very birds are in the eating them. This year summer is late. It is May. Cold has not gone yet. I twice treated my meadow with weed control. I have not finished yet. I have a bag of grass seed that too i have to spread. I have fresh soil. I have spread lot of seeds. I have to prevent weed growing there. I am concentrating on small plants only. I have many hibiscus plants. They are yet to come back to life. Only one is green. I kept it in door.

Can I stop weed spreading. Last year I damaged my loan trying to do that. Can I breed only flowers that fills my mind? Can I create an environment where bright productive mind blooms and knows what is to be bright and fragrant flower. Yesterday at length i talked about disappointment with the world. I told him that 100 out of 100 i meet are weeds. I cannot prevent them. That includes my own children. Zinia already is out of the house. Knowingly she lives in company of cheats. Soham yet to graduate and he is blind. He conducts himself unclean dirty unaware of his of his disability.
Last night I saw the bio film Ramanujan and his teacher GH Hardy. Ramanujan became FRS at very young age. He wrote of mathematics without proof. GHH tried to teach him that it is obligation to provide proof. But then he had very short time to live. He had to give to this world many finite infinite formulas with the burden of proving them. They are all intuitive to him. He could not slow down.
I have often focussed intelligence - all terrestrial. I also have said there is extra terrestrial intelligence. It is futile to waste dreaming multiple universe or non-universe. I am so confused about numbers either. Although I have not gone deep with them. Ordering of numbers and limits and convergence do not come to me as intuition. I do not get joy from their discovery. The meadow of Ramanujan had many flowering plants that bloomed numbers.
Once I too used to think erroneously world expresses itself in numbers - waves seeds organic inorganic gravity stars light sound and sensible even multiplication of organisms. All are numbers. I used believe dna that essentially is backbone or factory making organism and their evolution are essential material for superior beings - healthy in body and mind and indestructible.
I know that exist. It is not dna and not terrestrial. It is at the center and creates both weeds and flowers i love.
Innocent pure children untouchable divine. All sequence starts with that and after making a round trip of the universe returns to that.

That is not discoverable.

In the illusion

There must be something that is more important than all illusions including illusion of present...

that has no name no sound no words....

invaluable yet without reference...

That is unrelated with thought words action .....

no matter what illusion and my involvement in the same ~ it is illusion without past present or future....

 Does illusion has now then hence?

অলীক আবার অতীত বর্তমান ভবিষ্যৎ
অলীক আবার বদনাম সুনাম নাম
অলিক আবার ভালো মন্দ
অলিক আবার ব্যাথা আনন্দ
অলিক আবার সত্যি মিথ্যা
অলিক আবার খোঁজ নিখোঁজ
অলিক আবার মায়া সঞ্চয় অপচয়
অলীক আবার ভোলা মনে রাখা লেখা না লেখা বলা না বলা ভাবা না ভাবা করা না করা

অলীক আবার সৃষ্টি দৃষ্টি নিদ্রিত জাগ্রত স্বপ্ন কল্পনা জন্ম মৃত্যু

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