Saturday, June 2, 2018

I.. I.. I ...

It is always me.

Sleep awake or dream.

I can never see any but always me.

I cannot think any but only me.

I cannot do but only me.

Is there any ever that is not me?

If there is one, I will never know. If there is evil I will never know. If there is good I will never know. So far so long I have been seeing me sensing me smelling me touching me and tasting me! 

Had I not have had enough of me? Had I not enough thought enough of me? Have I not done enough with me? What more can I do without tiring me exhausting me to see sense taste or hear that can never be anything but self indulgence?

Can I ever succeed in defending me against me?

Forever trapped in Sheesmahal. The gravity and prison that I can never break out.

I am so complete and so irreducible and so hopeless! I am impossible!! For anything to happen I must wait no option ~ I am yin and I am yang in separable ~ I am me and I am my mirror ~ I am and I cannot be ....  I am bound ... so bound that I cannot move ... freedom - impossible!

Trapped within me, I can only distort my vision of me; but if there is any ever not me, I cannot make that any perceive me as per my wish; I cannot even make myself visible ever!!!

....I am a fool who forever is only fooling myself ...

....My senses instead of revealing me my world .... isolates me for ever and imprison me into hallucination ~ my existence in a world that never exists.... 

I have just written the most revolutionary thing ever. While I am aiming at liberation, I realize that I am alone and there is none near me in thousand universe. I am just in the midst of illusions or delusions that run deep through my senses and intelligence. I can engaged with wars and extreme discomforts since I am so capable of fooling myself and I do so frequently. 

And do not repeat this again. Since I know insane and cannot hold my promise even for moment. I am already suffering from Alzheimer. Question is how do I forget.

It is paradoxical - I am to forget all. At the same time, I wish to remember all is me  I love myself. I hate myself. 

I make time to spend time loving me hating me fighting me hurting me ...... I am absolute time invariant ~

I am big and cannot be bigger; I am small I cannot be smaller; I am new I cannot be newer, I am spread, I cannot be confined; I am insane, I cannot be saner; I am hyper sensitive, I cannot be more sensitive; I am senseless and I cannot be more insensitive; I am live and I cannot be livelier; I am all and I cannot reduce; there is none and nothing besides me. I bear unbearable, I have to.

I fear fear. I shame shame. I love love. I hate hate. I lust lust. I grieve grief. I suffer suffer. I know know. I think think. I sense sense. I act act.

I am complete and I cannot be incomplete.

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